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There are things nobody really prepares you for when you enter menopause. The hot flashes, the sleep changes, the mood swings—we talk about those. But what surprised me was how much this stage of life could change the way I looked at my marriage.

For me, menopause wasn’t just about my body changing. It made me more aware of everything. How I was feeling. What I needed. What I was tolerating. How I communicated. And, sometimes, how disconnected I felt from the person I’d been married to for years.

I think this is one of those conversations women don’t have enough.

Marriage doesn’t necessarily become difficult because something is wrong. Sometimes you’re both simply changing at the same time.

After years of trying to have children, working on my career and building a life and putting everyone else’s needs somewhere near the top of the list, you can suddenly look at each other and realize you’re in a completely different chapter.

And menopause can magnify that.

For me, there were moments when I couldn’t tell if I was genuinely unhappy with something in my marriage or if I was experiencing a new version of myself and didn’t yet know how to navigate it.

But that distinction matters.

I sought out BetterHelp for my own individual therapy and to work through personal emotions and communication challenges. And with insurance, many members pay $15 or less. Some pay $0.

I didn’t necessarily need someone to tell me whether my marriage was good or bad. I needed somewhere to talk honestly. I needed perspective. I needed to hear my own thoughts out loud without having to protect anyone else’s feelings. And I needed my extremely definisive husband to listen, with someone else, a third party present, so that I could stop feeling that rage bubble up whenever I felt unheard.

At some point, I stopped prioritizing my marriage becauue life, and my own life changes, took over. And I realized now, at 50, in midlife, therapy can be incredibly helpful.

I’ve been exploring BetterHelp  because the idea of having access to a licensed therapist from home makes getting that kind of guidance feel much more manageable. I work from home, so it made logical sense that if we could remove all the obstacles of finding a qualified therapist I could scheduling therapy sessions out of the home, we could actually do this!

BetterHelp  connects you with a licensed therapist through its online platform, and you can communicate through messaging, live chat, phone or video sessions.1

1. When using insurance, certain BetterHelp features may be limited or unavailable, including chat-based sessions, groups/classes, and select self-help tools.

I love that they matched me to a qualified professional. And that they have insurance options. BetterHelp makes therapy approachable, accessible and easy.

And I like that therapy doesn’t have to mean something is falling apart.

Sometimes you go because you want to understand yourself better.

Sometimes you need help communicating with your partner.

Sometimes you need a neutral person to help you sort through what you’re feeling before you bring it into your marriage.

And sometimes you simply need to say, “I don’t know what’s happening to me right now.”

I think that’s especially important during menopause.

We’re often told to manage the physical symptoms, but the emotional and relationship changes deserve attention too. Hormonal changes can affect mood, sleep, stress and sexuality, while the larger life changes happening during midlife can add another layer. That doesn’t mean menopause is responsible for every problem in a marriage—but it can be one part of a much bigger transition.

I’m learning that asking for guidance isn’t a sign that something is broken.

At this stage of my life, I’m less interested in pretending I have all the answers. I’m more interested in understanding myself, communicating better and figuring out what I actually want this next chapter of my life to look like.

And if that means getting a little help along the way, I’m okay with that.

Maybe that’s another thing we learn in our 50s: You don’t have to figure everything out by yourself.

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